Adjusting the Sails

I just posted. But I had been thinking about something for a while and it didn't really fit with the last post. Lately one of my struggles has been due to a change in me. This change wasn't really IN me but ON me. I may or may not have gained my freshman 15 this summer and that was ON me but I let it become something INside me. Does that make sense? Since I really noticed this "big" change I became very insecure and angry. At myself. Because I let it happen. Other things added to it but I think I took out all of my emotions on my body. I went through a cycle of hopelessness, to over ambition, to anger, over and over again. I would talk to my mom about it and after the days and weeks passed I realized a few things. 1. My mom made me realize that it could be a lot worse. I could have developed a disease or lost an arm or burned my face off. But I didn't. I gained a little amount of weight that probably only I could notice. I had a body. That is a pretty neat th...

This weekend was pretty fun.  My roommates moved out, so we had to clean the whole apartment (not fun) but then my family came up! Even though the title may sound like it was all fun and games, we didn't do much! But it was really fun to spend time with the people who love me most! On Friday my mom came to Logan. I showed her my apartment, she gave me some clothes. It was good. We went to Lewiston and visited Melissa and my mom did her family pictures. If you by chance are reading this and don't know my mom is the best photographer, go to her Facebook page Melinda Smith Photography. (I wish that was a paid advertisement.) Later that night we went to my grandparents in Dayton. My dad showed up a little later because he had to drive from North Dakota. But I was so excited to see everyone and we had peach pie. Saturday we all were lazy in the morning. We went and watched cousin Paige perform at the fair. We looked at the chickens and lambs and pigs and had a pretty good ti...

Do you ever have those times in your life where you feel as if you are becoming a lego tower? Like blocks are stacked higher and higher but there's only so high it can go? I feel like a lego tower lately, and I feel like this lego tower is skinny and one block wide...if you have never played with legos, this would be a very unstable tower. Haha. Analogies aside, basically I kept thinking I should write a blog post but so many things had happened/were happening/would happen that I didn't want to approach the daunting task. So now I am at a point where I can't really even remember the events of the last while, and to be frank I don't really want to. But I realized that if I kept waiting for life to slow down, I would never write again. So yeah. what have I been waiting for? This may seem vague and non-descriptive, but this has probably been one of the times in my life where I have felt more lost, confused, and alone, than ever before. I have also learned the most and ch...